Last night, my girlfriend and I sat down to watch a horror movie. I’m always torn between wanting to show her a classic that I have seen that I feel she needs to or watching a newer one than neither of us either of us have seen.
After watching some trailers for movies, like the haunting, a classic starring Liam Neeson, Owen, Wilson, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, the 1998 horror sci-fi film the faculty arrived in my head.
This movie has every actor in it. Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Clea DuVall, Laura Harris, Famke Janssen, Salma Hayek, Robert Patrick, Jon Stewart, Bebe Neuwirth, Shawn Hatosy, Usher Raymond, Piper Laurie, Daniel von Bargen, Christopher McDonald.
And it is directed by Robert Rodriguez, who is mostly known for directing an extremely violent movie and a kids movie the next. Although I guess horror was his earlier thing because he also did From Dusk Til Dawn.
Anyway, it’s a great movie for so many reasons. Besides Big Daddy, I think it’s one of the only other movies that John Stewart ever did. It is very reminiscent of films like the bodysnatcher and the thing. Some they actually referenced in the movie which I love when a television show or movie recognizes another famous piece of media within their universe.
I think the film holds up. The monster is pretty bad ass. The jump scares and creepiness are good. But there was one thing that just irked me re-watching this film. How Josh Hartnett runs.
Heartland character Zeke it’s a two time senior in high school. He lives by himself while his parents traveled the world. And while he is one of the more intelligent people, he spends his time dealing his own, created drugs to students and starting shit with teachers.
But the way he runs.
I surprisingly couldn’t find any clips online. I recorded this one. I’ll try to do another one but just go back and watch it because the movie still holds up and it is awesome.
I just started watching Juror #2. The Clint Eastwood-directed drama is now streaming on MAX and follows a juror in a trial who begins to second-guess a recent night of his.
The film stars Nicholas Hoult, Toni Collette, J.K. Simmons, Chris Messina, Zoey Deutch, Cedric Yarbrough, and Kiefer Sutherland. It’s really cool to see Cedric Yarbrough in such a serious role—definitely a change of pace for him.
The movie jumps into the story pretty quickly and is incredibly tense.
But here’s the thing: 30 Rock has absolutely ruined this movie for me, and I’ll tell you why.
The Curse of The Rural Juror
Within the 30 Rock world—which, technically, exists inside someone’s head—there are tons of fictional TV shows and movies. America’s Kidz Got Singing, Bitch Hunter, Homonym!, Honkey Grandpa Be Trippin’, Martin Luther King Day, MILF Island, Queen of Jordan, and Sport Shouting are just a few examples. And honestly, MILF Island basically became a real show (Temptation Island, anyone?).
One of the most infamous entries in the 30 Rock universe is The Rural Juror, a big movie starring Jenna Maroney. It’s one of the many projects that constantly pulls her away from her responsibilities on the sketch show. The running joke is just how awful the title is—nobody can pronounce it. Even Liz Lemon, Jenna’s oldest friend and biggest cheerleader, struggles to root for the film, calling it “The Ruror Juror.”
Little did I know that 30 Rock’s ridiculous joke would ruin any future TV shows or movies for me with the word “Juror” in the title.
Watching Juror #2
That said, I was still able to binge and obsess over Jury Duty (thankfully). But now, here I am watching Juror #2, and I can’t stop hearing “Ruror Juror” every time the title is mentioned.
I’m about halfway through, and I’m really enjoying it. The cast is stacked, and the tension is palpable. If you can get past 30 Rock living rent-free in your head, I’d definitely recommend checking it out.
Clips from 30 Rock:
When Liz Lemon finally learns the name of the movie.
And the song from The Rural Juror:
Rachel Dratch playing Barbara Walters introducing The Rural Juror.
I have been a fan of Kyle Gallner forever. His acting career actually goes way back.
I recently watched Veronica Mars for the first time, and he has a supporting role in that for a season or two. Of course, he winds up playing a psycho.
He actually had a small but credited role in Wet Hot American Summer. And not the television show—the movie from 2001!
He also had a lot of one-episode appearances on television shows early in his career.
One of my favorite roles of his is in The Outsiders, a severely underrated TV show where he co-starred alongside David Morse and Ryan Hurst. The show is about an off-the-grid family in Appalachia that preys on the town down the hill because everyone is too scared of them. It’s super tense and plays out like a mix of Deliverance and the Wrong Turn remake.
But now, let’s talk about his horror movies.
Over the past few years, Gallner has starred in Strange Darlings and Smile 2. Strange Darlings isn’t your typical horror movie, but I’d still put it in that realm. It’s a great cat-and-mouse story with a big twist. The Smile films, on the other hand, are an impressive new addition to the horror world. They focus on a creepy presence that haunts people, giving them a week to figure out how to escape before meeting their end.
In 2023, he also starred in The Passenger. It took me a while to sit down and watch this one. I knew I wanted to see it because Gallner is one of my favorite actors, but I also knew it was going to be heavy. The movie follows a complacent townie who gets dragged into a violent rampage by his co-worker. It’s incredibly tense and disturbing, and Gallner gives an amazing performance.
I also recently watched The Cleansing Hour. I watched it for him and Ryan Guzman, who I know from 9-1-1. The film follows a fraudulent streamer who claims to perform exorcisms. And then, of course, one winds up being real.
I haven’t seen Red State since it came out, but it was a wild ride. It marked Kevin Smith’s start in the horror realm and is his answer to the Westboro Baptist Church. The film follows a few high school boys who meet a woman online—only to find out she wants to make them pay for their sins.
Ghosts of War has been on my list for a while. The film follows five American soldiers assigned to hold a French chateau near the end of World War II who encounter a supernatural enemy. The cast is what sold me on this movie, with Alan Ritchson, Theo Rossi, Skylar Astin, and Billy Zane.
His whole horror career includes the following. I might be leaving out a few that are more thriller than horror, but here’s the list:
1. Red Eye (2005)
2. The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
3. Jennifer’s Body (2009)
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
5. Red State (2011)
6. The Walking Dead (2013, episode: “Live Bait”)
7. Sublime (2007)
8. The Cleanse (2016)
9. The Cleansing Hour (2019)
10. Scream (2022)
11. Smile (2022)
12. Ghosts of War (2020)
13. Mother, May I? (2023)
14. The Passenger (2023)
15. Strange Darling (2023)
16. Smile 2 (2024)
Kyle Gallner has done a ton of horror and absolutely deserves to be called a scream king. If you’re not already a fan, you’re missing out on one of the best actors in the genre right now.
My favorite band, Good Hangs, have just released a new EP titled, DO IT FOR DALE (hope my love will quit). The album and title track got it’s name from the guys finding out that Nascar Xfinity Series driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. had a few of their songs on his playlist. The North Carolina native is apparently a bit time of pop-punk including bands like Have Mercy and The Wonder Years, and more recently Good Hangs.
My two favorites from the EP are pc4pc (hurt) and If I ate mold, do you think I’d notice? (Disa Disa Disa).
DO IT FOR DALE (hope my love will quit) is a song about trying to get over the love you have for your buddy’s girlfriend.
pc4pc (hurt) is a beautiful song about losing out on love due to addiction. The catchy, repetetive words in the chorus will surely get stuck in your head.
If I ate mold, do you think I’d notice? (Disa Disa Disa) is a song about your current, working professional, thirty-year old self looking back on you in your early twenties and being disappointed in how you never reached your dreams or at least are still pursuing them.
I Hate This City (Without You) starts off with a Mark Hoppus style bass line. And, just like so many pop punk albums had one or two acoustic songs, they also always had a song about how different the singer’s town feels now without their love there anymore. And this song is just that.
A few weeks ago, Bon Iver teased something on Instagram that got a lot of people excited. Including myself.
I first heard Bon Iver at a get together in college. I visited my friend at his school in New Hampshire and there was an option of Jack Daniels whiskey or marijuana. I was not a whiskey guy. I knew what I liked and didn’t like. I got high and then Bon Iver came on and everything changed forever. OK, maybe that is a little dramatic. But I have said that I want to create a bumper sticker that reads: Bon Iver was my therapist before I was in therapy.
I was obsessed. I still am. My ex had bought me a biography of his and I never got around to reading it because I didn’t feel like I really needed to. I could tell you everything about Justin. How he came up with the name for the band. The three original members. Every side project of his. Every project that his former band members and current band members have gone onto form. I even went to Eau Claire Wisconsin back in the day to see the festival that they put on with The National.
Justin recently announced a new EP, Sablet. The three-track album will come out on October 18th. The first single, “S P E Y S I D E,” has been released accompanied with a music video. The other two songs, “Things Behind Things Behind Things,”and “Awards Season,” will be released soon. The EP marks a return to Justin Vernon’s acoustic roots, reminiscent of For Emma, Forever Ago. The decision to strip back the sound comes after years of experimentation with a fuller band. Collaborators on the EP include producer Jim-E Stack and Rob Moose, who contributes viola.
Only 16 more days until we are blessed with three new tracks from one of the best musicians in history.
Happy October! The most wonderful time of the year. When the weather starts getting cooler and the lawns in your neighborhood start decorating for the best holiday of the year.
I don’t know if I have ever actually watched a horror movie a day throughout the month of October. I have probably done it other months, though.
This month, I am challenging myself to watch not only one horror movie a day, but one horror movie that I haven’t seen before. A classic. Each day, I will update this with the movie that I watched. Tonight was the first night and I watched The Fly. I was in the mood after watching The Substance for some more body horror.
It has happened to all of us. A favorite show of ours gets canceled. We don’t get the closure that we wanted. And I don’t know how old you are, but I grew up in the days of when a show is cancelled it wasn’t picked up by another network. Back in the day, you had NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX. At least today, if a show gets canceled on one of those channels, it can get picked up by Netflix, Hulu, Peacock. Did you know MGM+ is a thing? I know, right.
Anyway, I have gone back recently and watched some of my favorite shows that were canceled too soon. Some I have yet to rewatch. Anyway, here’s a list of some of my favorite shows that were canceled too early.
Title: Wayward Pines
Synopsis: A Secret Service agent goes to Wayward Pines, Idaho in search of two federal agents who have gone missing in the bucolic town. He soon learns that he might never get out of Wayward Pines alive.
Cast: Matt Dillon, Carla Gugino, Toby Jones, Shannyn Sossamon, Reed Diamond, Tim Griffin, Charlie Tahan, Juliette Lewis, Melissa Leo, Terrence Howard.
Originally aired on: Fox
Seasons: 2
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: The Following
Synopsis: A brilliant, charismatic, and psychotic serial killer communicates with other active serial killers and activates a cult of believers who follow his every command.
Cast: Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy, Shawn Ashmore, Jessica Stroup, Valorie Curry, Nico Tortorella.
Channel: Fox
Seasons: 3
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Terra Nova
Synopsis: Centers on the Shannons, an ordinary family from 2149 when the planet is dying, who are transported back 85 million years to prehistoric Earth where they join Terra Nova, a colony of humans with a second chance to build a civilization.
Cast:
Channel: Fox
Seasons: 1
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Awake
Synopsis: After a car accident takes the life of a family member, a police detective lives two alternating parallel lives, one with his wife and one with his son. Is one of his “realities” merely a dream?
Cast: Jason Isaacs, Laura Allen, and Dylan Minnette.
Channel: NBC
Seasons: 1
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Ordinary Joe
Synopsis: Centers on Joe Kimbreau as he makes a pivotal, life-changing decision at his college graduation and follows him on three parallel timelines: as a police officer, as a music star, and as a nurse.
Cast: James Wolk, Natalie Martinez, Elizabeth Lail, Charlie Barnett
Channel: NBC
Seasons: 1
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Happy Endings
Synopsis: This Chicago-set sitcom follows the intertwined lives of six young urbanites trying to learn the ropes of adulthood. Through breakups and whatever other curve-balls life throws them, the pals stick together.
Cast: Eliza Coupe, Elisha Cuthbert, Zachary Knighton, Adam Pally, Damon Wayans, Jr. Casey Wilson.
Channel: ABC
Seasons: 3
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: The Mick
Synopsis: A hard-living aunt is forced to take care of her wealthy sister’s spoiled kids after the mom flees the country to avoid criminal charges.
Cast: Kaitlin Olson, Sofia Black-D’Elia, Carla Jimenez, Thomas Barbusca, Jack Stanton, Scott MacArthur.
Channel: Fox
Seasons: 2
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: The Mick
Synopsis: A single mother’s life after she accepts the offer to be a surrogate mother for a gay couple.
Cast: Justin Bartha, Andrew Rannells, Georgia King, Bebe Wood, NeNe Leakes, Jayson Blair, Ellen Barkin.
Channel: NBC
Seasons: 1
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Reboot
Synopsis: Follows an early 2000s family sitcom that Hulu has rebooted and their dysfunctional cast that must deal with their unresolved issues in today’s fast-changing world.
Cast: Keegan-Michael Key, Johnny Knoxville, Rachel Bloom Calum, Worthy Krista, Marie Yu, Judy Greer, Paul Reiser.
Channel: Hulu
Seasons: 1
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Great News
Synopsis: A New Jersey mom puts her relationship with her daughter to the test when she lands an internship at her new job, which comes with many challenges.
Cast: Briga Heela, Andrea Martinm, Adam Campbell, Nicole Richie, Horatio Sanz, John Michael Higgins.
Channel: NBC
Seasons: 2
Where to watch now: Hulu
Trailer:
Title: Wrecked
Synopsis: When a plane crashes on a deserted island on the way to Thailand, the crash survivors struggle to get along, and heads clash as they have differing views on how to stay alive and get off the island.
Cast: Zach Cregger, Asif Ali, Rhys Darby, Brooke Dillman, Ginger Gonzaga, Will Greenberg, Jessica Lowe, Ally Maki, Brian Sacca, James Scott.
My girlfriend works in data and has started a newsletter where she takes a data approach to things she is interested in. Her first few were about concerts and her most recent one is all about Christmas Hallmark movies!
I am part of a Facebook group of (mostly retired) comedians who like to nerd out about video games, television shows, and movies.
One of them, Roxanne Celeste, put together this advent style list of horror movies to watch throughout December. Because who says we have to stop watching horror after October 31st?
Here is part of the post from Roxanne:
“Every day has a different cold, wintry horror/suspense/thriller.
There are no sequels or remakes except for one of the older films. I tried to keep a variety of decades and styles. The Christmas horrors get saved for last, and we end on a nice dessert of a couple horror-comedies. There are none of the obvious Scandinavian films on this list, because honestly, including them felt like cheating, all their movies have snow in them. I went a little off-piste in the middle because I wanted to include “Storm of the Century” really, really bad, but it’s a miniseries, so you can either watch that over three days or watch some other honorable mentions instead.
12/1 – The Thing (1982) 12/2 – The Great Silence (1968) 12/3 – Frozen (2010) 12/4 – Ravenous (1999) 12/5 – The Abominable Snowman ( 1957) 12/6 – Wind Chill (2007) 12/7 – Curtains (1983) 12/8 – Devil’s Pass (2013) 12/9 – Misery (1990) 12/10 – The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015) 12/11 – Storm of the Century: Ep 1 (1999) OR Dead Snow (2009) 12/12 – Storm of the Century: Ep 2 (1999) OR The Last Winter (2006) 12/13 – Storm of the Century: Ep 3 (1999) OR Jack Frost (1997) 12/14 – The Shining (1980) 12/15 – The Invisible Man (1933) 12/16 – 30 Days of Night (2007) 12/17 – The Lodge (2019) 12/18 – Black Christmas (1974) 12/19 – Better Watch Out (2016) 12/20 – Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) 12/21 – The Curse of the Cat People (1944) 12/22 – Silent Night (2021) 12/23 – Gremlins (1984) 12/24 – Krampus (2015)
